She knew it was making her sick, but she just couldn’t stop: Here’s what’s happening underneath these behaviours.

Hi my loves,

This is for the women who has behaviours and makes choices, that she then feels ashamed of and beats her self up for. For the woman who swears she will start again tomorrow and then feels controlled by her cravings, and succumbs, keeping her stuck in the very cycle she wishes she could break free from.

You see, it is so much bigger than willpower. It’s YOU and YOUR desires vs. your brain!

And guess what... your brain doesn’t want you to thrive and live your best life. Your brain doesn’t even want you to change.

Your brain wants you to SURVIVE!

And if you have evidence that the very thing you want to change once helped you survive, the brain wants to keep doing that thing.

Let me share a story with you about how these survival patterns begin in the brain.

My daughter had her friends over for a sleepover one night. Her friend Izzy felt really homesick and anxious. She wanted to go home. As I came down to help her through it, another friend brought over a bowl of lollies and said, “This will help!”. Izzy had some lollies and immediately felt better. She jumped around on the couch, exclaiming, “It worked! The lollies helped, I feel better now!!!” To which they all giggled and celebrated with lollies.

This big charge of emotions, the relief of feeling safe again, the celebration of 'surviving' in an instant, created a new pathway in Izzy’s brain. A deep, subconscious one that she will likely not even remember:

“Lollies make me safe.”

Her brain learned this in that moment: when I feel unsafe, lollies help.

So every time moving forward that she feels unsafe, her brain will subconsciously guide her, like a puppet on a string, toward lollies!

She will feel like its not a choice she is in control of. And she kind of isn’t. The brain is running the show. The brain that is wired for survival. 

But although it’s not easy to change, it is possible! 

But it certainly doesn’t come from criticizing yourself for your current choices.

I dive deeper into creating the change you desire in the podcast episode below!

Click the button to have a listen or search “Breathing Open Motherhood” on your fave podcast app.

Big love, you lil’ change maker, you!

Charmaine xxx